English was cancelled today! Hooray.

Saturday I went to play wallyball, which was very fun. Afterwards, everyone came over to my place and we watched The Shining! Ahhh, good movie. On Sunday, I went to the zoo with Melody, Makena, and Eleanor! It was a realllly great time. Red Pandas and baby gorillas are the most adorable things ever. Yes? Yes. We also got to see them feed pumpkins to the hippos! It was pretty cool.

Yesterday, monday, I woke up siiiiiick. Not fun, especially given that it was the first day of gymnastics. That said, the first day of gymnastics was pretty great. Looks like we'll have a good team this year. Technically we're still in "tryouts" but it's unlikely they'll cut anyone given that we have about 20 people, and they said their cap is 22 people. We mostly did bars and beam yesterday, and some floor stuff, and conditioning. I felt like shit when I got home due to overworking myself while I'm sick. After going to bed at 9:00 though, I woke up this morning feeling pretty good.

Today was our Veteran's day assembly. We played the Armed Forces Salute (we being Wind Ensemble)
On Thursday we're going to the middle school to play for them, which should be fun fun fun.

BUT!!! Mike is here tomorrow and I can't even contain my excitement for that. AHH!!!!!!

At least I have a finger on why I've been in such a horrible way the last 3 weeks.

Gonna pop soon!

water. finds. its. own. level.
- i can't remember why in the hell i would have ever thought that a life embracing, seeking out melancholy and solitude and LULZ DRINKING ALONE WOO!!11 was ever... even... i don't get it. i really don't. i can't believe the retarded fuckin' ego and denial required to drink to stupor and drug to idiocy and laugh at the 'normal' world for being 'boring'. hoo boy.
- i can read some of your stories and appreciate the beautiful way you write, love the way you pegged that moment or that feeling, smile with satisfaction and sigh at it a second. it can be so pretty, and you know it, you. but the difference is
- you're always sad, and somehow you think that pain is worth more than joy.
- your depression is crushing you, and somehow you think that makes you Better Than, More Than.
- there's more to life than the insides of your fucked-up head.


i'm far removed from wanting to go back to that backasswards nonlife. i don't know what happened in my brain's twists/curls to decide one day that That crap, You, was all i deserved, but i'm quietly grateful for all of mah peepz helping break the spell. or, you know, whatever. i can't believe what i settled for, you know, but it keeps getting better and it keeps getting better and it keeps getting better. and i don't settle and i don't settle. and it keeps getting better.


edited to add: you should know this was a letter to myself.

When I tag an entry "important/emergency"  it is an emergency. I can handle people not answering (thanks to those who commented/texted me). However when you have time to read through and reply in rapid fire fashion to SIX OTHER ENTRIES OF MINE containing much less urgency, YOU are a douche hole. I will not keep you on my flist. Don't even ask for a re-add.

No love, Katie.

Edit: This was for one person in particular and they've hence been burned from my flist. If you were asleep/away/not looking at your friends' list, don't worry. I still love you. Lots.