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February 26th, 2008

Feb. 26th, 2008

  • 12:34 PM
Fattie
That girl possessed by Celxa. I started with 20 milligrams on the 23rd. It has the pleasant side effect of appetite suppression. It's like a disassociation from hunger pangs. I feel my stomach growl, but I don't feel the urge to eat. I also got stoned on it for the first time yesterday, and that was amazing. I had super spectacular sex with Clyde, we didn't fight at all, but the greatest thing was I didn't feel the urge to devour the entire kitchen. Before when I got stoned, I couldn't think of anything to do, anything that would distract me enough and my thoughts always circled back to eating. It's not like that now. I can be stoned and enjoy the feeling without dying to eat. Even last night, in my own house where I would normally binge until I felt sick, I stood in the kitchen because it was habit but I couldn't find anything that sounded good enough to eat.

Sometimes, I realize with a gag, the feeling reminds me of ecstasy. Don't they work on the same brain chemicals?

I'm testing out the motivation aspect of it today. I'm having a hard time getting off the computer and on to the treadmill. Once I do, I'm going to take it slow. It's been weeks since I've been on there.

But like, LOOK! I managed to update my LJ, will update later with intake.

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