Tomorrow (today, the 3rd) is my 20th birthday. I am scared shitless. I am no longer a teenager, and I need to grow the hell up. (Does that mean I can't read Seventeen Magazine anymore?) I'm just going to tell people that I've been 18 for two years. There are so many depressing thoughts I've thunk in regards to this landmark, but they're all in my analog journal. If I had the wit or stamina to express them again in a digital world, and let's face it, who's going to read it and/or comment on this pathetic blather anyway. So whatever. I was born at 11:56 am and by that reasoning I have ten or so hours left to be 19, a teenager, as I've defined myself, the only self that I've known. If I'm going to continue wishing I was still 14, even when I'm thirty I should just kill myself now. And that is the jist. The end.